Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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