just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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