You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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