The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
