Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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