I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
