I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
