On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize