Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
