Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I've blown a few things in my day
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
