just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
