He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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