im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
