also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
