I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
