You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
