We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
