I just cut my nipple shaving
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
