1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
