You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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