Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
