i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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