Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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