You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I look better un-naked...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
