he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
