let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
