do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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