So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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