he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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