One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
