There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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