and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
