new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We're too hungover to prance.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
