Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
