Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
