Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
