I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
