Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
