She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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