Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
