Please, let me fuck your mom
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
