watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
time to smoke my breakfast
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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