Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
