btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think pants incapable of making pants work
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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