Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
