All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
