Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
