I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
