I need to stop coming to work sober
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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