Buhtt sex?
the condom got lost in my hair
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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