yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
