Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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