so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We got so high we made milksteak
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
