wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
