What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
