Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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