I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
