Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize